Mr Nick - Congratulations! Well done :) Sorry about missing you out on the post count thing, my bad. Just to let you know, I'm gonna climb that ladder...

Clarky- I'm sure you know that I was kidding about the Pachalel thing.

A proton and a neutron walk into a bar, the proton goes up to the bar and orders a beer, the bartender asks him for £1.80. Then the neutron goes up and asks for the same pint, but is surprised when the bartender doesn't ask for money, so he says to the bartender, "how much will that be?", the bartender says back "no charge".

Descartes walks into a bar, asks for a pint and is charged £34.80. He says "i think not!" and disappears.

stu clone - you got the descartes one, yeah- another cannibal type joke. three explorers, an englishman, an irishman and a scotsman are travelling through the jungle, and all of a sudden captured by a tribe. The tribe leader says to them "you have two choices, death, or malmal." And so naturally, the explorers, not being suicidal choose malmal. So the tribe leader says "OK. You must go into the forest, and find ten pieces of the same fruit each, and return to me. So the three of them head off, and first back is the englishman carrying 10 apples. So then the tribe leader says "Now, you must put all ten of those pieces of fruit up your bottom without showing any sign of facial expression, then you will be free to go." So the englishman takes the first apple and just about gets it in, covering up his immense agony. Then he takes the second one, tries to put it in but just screams out with agony. So one of the tribe sticks a spear in him and he dies. Then the scotsman returns with 10 grapes. Of course, he has to do the same thing, so he gets the first in, no trouble, 2nd it's a breeze. 3rd, 4th, 5th they go in with no problem. He gets al the way to the tenth grape but suddenly starts bursting out laughing. So he gets killed.

Now, the englishman and the scotsman meet up in the afterlife, and the englishman says to the scotsman "why did you burst out laughing? you were so close to surviving" and the scotsman replies "i saw the irishman coming back with ten pineapples!"

crispin - I'm planning on being on the cd, i think master yoda and clarky are doing so too.

trutina - any update from Mick on publishing and everything?

artanis - i think that joke is the one with the ending that I don't like.... don't worry. Does it include the word "by"?

greg m - what kind of maths paper?

neil - it's a pleasure - let me know which tracks you like most.

greg m - M2 ... I took that in January as part of further maths- you taking that or is it just part of your normal maths?

ice81 - as austin (do the stu) said, he's 46. And he's 47 in two weeks and 3 months. People who are born on the 15th of months rule!

Is anyone coming to my fortnight early birthday party tonight? Feel free to.

Matt - hope your Brian Moore thingy goes well today.

js clone - yes it is phrydom.

I'm up for blocking my JS100's trem since I never use it, and it's a pain in the backside. Does anyone know any resources/guides apart from those at jemsite? They've got a fairly good general guide, I'm just wondering if there's one on blocking JS100s or if anyone here's blocked a JS100...

ovation- thanks a lot

Crispin - as if the matrix would get anything wrong.... (fanatical....fan here)

My two cents on the cover- the top left one is the best. But still doesn't quite do it for me. For the back, it would be very cool to have the tracks done in the format of messages on here. eg. instead of 615 posts total it would have the length of track. The nick and proper name of each contibutor in place of the nickname (maybe the real name underneath the nick, in stead of location etc.) Then all the legal details at the bottom. It wouldn't be too hard to pull off...

For the front in that case it would have to be something fairly similar like, the T2J page with joe's hands to the left. W£hat about the inserts? we demand cool inserts!

Guitarcake!!! - that's when my birthday is!!!!!!! I'm having my party tonight! You are the first person i've ever had contact with who has the same birthday as me. I mean Tsar Nicholas II abdicated on the 15th of March, and Julius Ceasar was stabbed to death on the 15th of March but no-one else until now was ever born on that day. How old are you in two weeks

Michelle - Cool, that makes 4 T2Jers with 15th in their birthday.

Maybe we should call the T2J CD. "15 : The most satchurated number of all" - seriously though satchurated is good to be included, as is talking back exc et it doesn't make that much sense. "talking to him" would be a good name methinks.

crispin - hate to break this to yu but unless you go to australia or USA then you'll have to wait til May 23rd. (that's the UK release date) I know it sucks big time.. revolutions is supposed to be coming out within a day all over the globe.

gutarcake - that is "super cool". 15th march 1985 will go down in the record books as the day darren roser, instrumental guitarist extraordinaire and paul huxley, composer/england football manager extraordinare were both born.

greg - I'm doing further Maths, so P3 was hard at the time (end of first year) and i retook it and it was still hard, but i'd probably find it a sinch now i've done all of P4 and some of P5.

do the stu - i like your suggestion for version 3.... but you'll have to stick with that name for quite some time.

artanis - that's what i was thinking. except i'd never heard of that particular version til it was in the league of gentlemen, and it was called malmal then.

matt - thanks, glad the test drive thing went well. You will probably notice that although the rhythm part is quick to change key (although not quite a Bach chorale), my one take lead playing is significantly slower. If I iron out the creases it might turn into something good. (I'm already sorting everything out for recording it properly).

phrydom - i'll tell her that you like the pic... glad you liked the mp3 to some extent oo, I kinda kept it hid away so not too many people accidentally download it... it makes it more valuable when T2J CD becomes a classic.

philaka - The ErnieBall/Musicman one's quite nice, rather similar to the Petrucci model. I haven't played the piexo models but it's pretty playable, neckwise. At the end of the day, go for the one you like most (build quality being a very important factor).

Cleetus... I hope your joking... 1 - 1000 AD = millenium one. 1001 - 2000 = millenium two. 2001 - 3000 = millenium three.

Guys - congratulate me - I have discovered three things I never knew my recording software could do.

1) Noise reduction! and it works a charm, all that computer hiss, completely gone.

2) Compression! - I simply never found the right menu... expect far better demos in the future.

3) Normalisation... just makes things easier.

i'm using magix music studio 5 deluxe. In fact, as an update, i've realised how handy headphones are. I'm recording an acoustic thing in 5/4 and the recordings are sounding phenomenal compared to previously.

punkdude- why, thankyou.

ethn - i like the idea opf a "finish him" lick. Music created for/inspired by video games is so cool. Me (on bass), a keyboardist/sax player and a drummer (from my band) started improvising the kind of stuff. We did some great haunted house music, loosely based on Finally Free by DT. And for the underwater type levels we had a lovely marimba sound on the keyboard and a latin-type rhythm going. That was a great jam (no-one else had turned up for jazz band).

Harmonic minor thing - Joe doesn't use it much to be fair. I think they're so much in the mindset of guitar musicians that when Joe goes and writes new last jam with a lick in melodic minor, everything sounds wrong. I had to hit myself on the head for not realising it was just melodic minor (asc).

phrydom - like the new site look, excellent methinks. I think we should go for a liquid tension experiment volume 1 cover art type look... although I change my mind all the time, hehe.

mr nick - not quite sure what your saying, i think your sentece got a bit mangled... anyway, I'm fine with doing special delivery mail, I'm just wondering if this is enough for trutina. And who would want to nick my songs? (i'm really trying to tempt fate there)

suds2 - thanks for that link. good interview.

trutina - great, thanks for letting me know :)

greg m - Eb major and F Dorian contain exactly the same notes. The difference lies in what situations you play it in, and which notes you naturally emphasise. Fm7 however is a chord with the notes F, Ab, C and Eb

phrydom - well taken apart, regaring Vai and a certain member.

trutina - i don't think we should go over the top on info really. I mean, t2j name, real name and location (and possibly age). Then one or two small print paragraphs, one for thanks, and one for random other stuff. Of course, we'd have to be pretty economical if it were a double cd. Alternatively we could put the bare essentials in the booklet, and then put more details on a data track on the cd. I think that could be cool... (eg. where we could write a little bit each about the track, inspiration, etc. favourite satch tune. hehe)

s t a c h - i do, but it's really slow and easy to tab/ work out yourself. I worked that one out having played the guitar only just long enough to be able to play it. Seriously, give it a try. it's in E Phrygian for starters. (same notes as C major). Although I seem to remember an f# or bb being introduced at some stage, can't remember though.

T2J CD - Cover 6 is cool. I prefer it to 2. I still really like 1, but if we're going to do the suggested thing of putting track titles/numbers on the back in T2J format, 6 would work well. Why the version 1.0 after the Satchurated feedback? See what Dream Theater had to do after jokingly putting on part I on the end of Metropolis... seriously, i think we should drop the version 1.0 and if we end up doing a second, put a two on there somehow.

megaboyd - i'll come with you to see mike...though you never know, with traffic jams and that.

do the stu - i hear what you're saying about the version 1.0 - it just, to me sounds a touch poo. I mean, by leaving it off, we're not in the slightest bit ruling it off. I just think it would sound better, roll easier off the tongue. I think that if it went well, and there were still people willing to put the effort/money in, not having 1.0 on the first one wouldn't stop people.

also to jstrat - v1.0 is a lot better than version in my opinion, so as a compromise, I agree. But I'm still not convinced of it's necessity.

trutina - sounds a cool idea to me. I think everyone's sold on the computery theme though (apart from do the stu). Hehe, the moon and the stars thing - reminds me of the story of Joseph (as in "and the technicolour dreamcoat")

Satchurated reflections... I prefer just reflections. Aah it's so hard. Satchurated sounds geeky punnish which as much as I love them, it doesn't fit with reflections (which I prefer). I'm just throwing my views around here, feel free to ignore them if you're sure, just my £0.016.

greg m - great idea, go for it. I was considering doing that with a political party and having it's name as the manifesto in full.... apparantly they have a limit on the length though.

phrydom - good work again

2 ton tessie - you're entirely missing the point, I'm afraid. Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Wagner, Debussy, Gershwin, Vai, Satriani. All knew a decent, if not extensive amount of theory. I mean, sure Bach didn't know much about enigmatic scales, like Verdi and Satch do, and Satriani is less concerned about perfect cadences than Bach was.

Theory empowers musicians. Learn it and forget it. You are right, some peole analyse to the death, but can't compose. That's the way it is. Other people know barely a shred of theory but compose great music/ play brilliantly. B.B.King knows only a handful of chords, and can't sing and play at the same time. But he's one of the most respected guitarists of the century.

The problem is, you're missing the middle ground. Those who know at least some theory, and can create great music. I'd put Dream Theater, Vai and Satch in that category. I'd put Paul Clark, Matt King and Pete Mulas in that category. I'd put Ooberman, Kelly Jones (as in stereophonics dude, not the satch coverer in this case) and Tom McRae.