Dragonchild - Thank you, no one has ever said that to me before. Ha ha.

Phyrg Dom - if you cancel your account does that mean you wont be on here anymore. We rely on your funny stuff.

Off to work for the Council now. On the upside it is stress free and I can rev up when I get home with some Joe music.

Bye for now

Sharon

JS Clone 2 - Condolences to you, it's always painful to lose a loved one.

Aolus - All ages are welcome here, hope you enjoy the site.

Dragonchild - listed to Yngwie, he can play allright but his songs just don't appeal to me, pretty much the same as Vai. Joe can play and play stuff we can all listen to.

USA fans - question for ya. Colleague at work's son is doing a sponsored questionnaire for charity and is stuck on the following question.

Why are the 1990 American Dollar Bills worth more than the 1989 American Dollar Bills.

If anyone can answer this one please answer before 8am British time tomorrow morning.

Many thanks

Wow Joe, you're back. Loved the shows in the UK. I can't believe we were just six foot away from you and the band. Absolutely fabulous and yes you have caused quite a stir with those trousers and jacket.

Come back soon Joe, we all love you.

Sparrow, still waiting for your photos.

Love Sharon

austin - I really thought you could answer the dollar bill question, can anybody else answer by 8 am tomorrow British time, clock's ticking.

Naty - chocolate and Joe, seems like a good recipe to me.

Goodnight all, Goodnight Joe.

Damn Straight - The question is why is the 1990 Dollar Bill more valuable than the 1989 Dollar Bill?

JS Clone 2 Nocturne is one of my favourite's.

Austin - We think the answer to the dollar question is that in 1990 they made a silver one, not a very exciting answer but there it is. Wont find out for a few days if it is the correct one.

JOE - I have a complaint about the t shirts - when you wash them you have to iron them I HATE IRONING AAAAHHH. When you tour again can I come and be your official head shaver. I'll be careful, promise.

Phyrg Dominant - You're staying on then are you, glad you changed your mind, we need the funny stuff.

Naty - have you had a better day today, it's the weekend tomorrow and here at the moment the sun is shining. I expect you see the sun more than we do.

We are off show dogging in Leeds on Sunday, weather is supposed to be good. It's a good venue in Harewood Hall grounds. Sunny monster will be trying to bonk all the female dogs there, it's such a battle taking a sex mad dog with you. He doesn't care what breed they are either, he's such a tart.

USA - just listening to the news re your trapped miners, hope they get out ok.

LOL

Naty - you lucky thing, hols for 4 weeks, going somewhere nice? Have a good holiday. Which JS shirt did you have. Glad you have some new servants, those shirts do need ironing once washed.

Phyrg Dominant - what country are you from, it doesn't say on the list. Doesn't matter anyway, post the funny stuff.

Wildwayz - Joe is my wallpaper at work too, I need something exciting to look at whilst at work for the boring, need a firecracker up your backside Council.

The Local Person - glad you have an inheritance to tap into, you lucky kid. I had to go straight to work for my pennies. Satch fans, met Mr Huxley at Shepherd's Bush - very polite person. Good luck with you playing local person.

Nighty night everybody,

Joe, just before I go off to bed I just want to say, memories of my first Satch concert live are still rolling round in my head. You played stuff that I'm particularly fond of and I loved Midnight, could have listened to that just a bit longer. Hats off to the rest of the band. What teamwork.

Thanks for giving us a great time.

Naty - have a good holiday,are you going to resist chocolate on holiday, I managed to go a week without any, tough stuff. We have two black and two white SBM shirts.

Non smoker - Well done there, as a non smoker I can only imagine how tough it must be. Why don't you put the money you save in a jar and see how quickly it mounts up, that's how my other half did it.

The dollar question- still waiting for the correct answer.

It's my dad's birthday today, between us we have bought him 5 satch albums including SBM, that should stop him nicking mine. He's 63 you know. You're never too young or too old to enjoy Satch.

Love the Satch Man.

Funny Stuff

A farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks so he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks is he has a rooster that he would sell.

The other farmer says,"Yeah, I've got this great rooster named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Kenny the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it and buys Kenny.

The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk.

"I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job so take your time and have some fun."

Kenny seemed to understand so the farmer pointed toward the Hen house and Kenny took off like a shot. Wham! Kenny nails every hen in the hen house three or four times and the farmer is really shocked.

After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough Kenny is in there. Later the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese down by the Lake. Once again - Wham! He gets all the geese and by sunset he sees Kenny out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Kenny on his back, stone cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colourful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says,"Oh Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down and now look what you've done to yourself." Kenny opens one eye, nods towards the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer."

Sharon

Naty - Been to work today, it's so hot here at the moment, too hot for working. Nice to see someone is chilling out, enjoy while it lasts.

Phygian Dominant, where in Manchester do you live, went past there yesterday coming back from Leeds.

Austin - the music spell for my dog showing is broken, went up to Leeds (North of England) and we didn't get placed at all, played the Joe stuff too. To be fair though the judge I booked for was ill and they had a different bloke who was a complete ass, wouldn't have known a good dog if it came up and bit him up the ass. Joe, you're music just wasn't strong enough to sort the asshole of a judge yesterday. I had I Believe buzzing in my head too and I did believe against all the odds that the asshole judge would see sense in the end but there was too much sh**t in his head methinks. Moan and stamping of feet over now, listened to Joe on the way home, dog kipping in the back, didn't get lost this time and end up in Preston. Phyg Dom - ever tried to get out of Leeds and not get lost first time, it is hard you know.

Paul Huxley - have a good holiday, there'll be loads of posts when you get back to read.

NJ Beast - where were you in London and Birmingham, we went to both, stood at the front/centre.

I agree too that Joe's music is a journey, out of the drudge into happy land. I'm afraid since listening to everything of Joe's other people's music just doesn't have the same appeal anymore, anyone else feel the same. Nothing else seems to measure up. Satch Doctor what do you think. It this is an obsession I hope it lasts forever.

WIGS - Joe was great in London, totally worth the four hour queueing and surviving the rail strike.

Phyrg Dom - So you're dawn Sarf then, we have some friends in London, right by Heathrow, they don't half swear a lot.

Punkdude- do you mean the chicken story, this one isn't real, it's just daft stuff. I seem to be getting a lot of daft stuff sent to me at the moment. I'll send some more when I've got time.

Goodnight USA, morning England/Europe.

Off to work we go.

Peter Mulas, go to www.amazon.com

I've been on Major Tom's page and voted.

The world created by our Master Satch, yeah go for that. Party on.

Funny Stuff.

New Sex Study : > > It has been studied and determined that the most often used sexual > position for married couples is the doggie position. > > The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.

haaaaaaah

LOL Sharon

Joe, are you up yet, when are you coming back on here.

If you were to create the world how would you do it?

More Funny Stuff

It's an old un but still tickles me.

Subject: When the body was first made...

When the body was first made, all parts wanted to be the Boss. The Brain said, "Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be Boss". The Hand said, "Since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be Boss". The Eyes said, "Since I must look out for all of you and tell you where the danger lurks, I should be Boss." And so it went with the Heart, the Ears, the Feet, the Lungs, and finally the Asshole spoke up and demanded to be the Boss. All other parts laughed at the idea of the Asshole being Boss.

The Asshole was so enraged that he blocked himself off and refused to function. Soon the Brain was feverish, the Eyes crossed and ached, the Feet were too weak, the Hands hung limply at the side, the Heart and Lungs struggled just to keep going. All pleaded with the Brain to let the Asshole be Boss. And so it happened. All the other parts did all the work and the Asshole just bossed around and passed out a lot of shit.

The Moral of the story: You don't have to be a brain to be the boss. You just have to be an asshole.

LOL Sharon

Michelle - glad you liked the Boss joke, it always makes me laugh. Haven't seen the New Austin Powers movie, I shall be though. Yeah baby, why can't life be like that.

Anibur - hope you had a good holiday 900 mails to read, just shows you can't have a day off here. About that big bloke, you know what they say, the bigger the are the bigger they fall, especially if you remember where to poke um.

Naty - Having a good holiday?

If Joe were to re-create the world I wonder what his ten commandments would be.

Although my Andy Pandy has only been learning the guitar a few weeks, he seems to be doing ok, the tone deaf stuff isn't affecting him at all, he is managing to get the chords except F I think, this seems to be a difficult one, his fingers aren't very thin which is making it hard. Joe's fingers seem to be a bit more slender and long too. My son bought him a pedal and an electric tuner thingy for his birthday and the scenario that struck me is "Boys With Toys" ladies - you know what I mean. Anyway he is having fun and he is out of my hair, thank you Joe.

Wow Joe, you're popping in on your hols, what a way to spend it, how different is it to play a different style of music to your own? I've still got some old Scorpion vynyl stuff somewhere.

Naty - speeding aye, I slowed down when my kids started to tell people I drove at warp 9 speed.

Michelle - we must have all looked like that, I still can't believe we were stood just six foot away from Joe.

JOE - my son went to work yesterday with one of your shirt's on and not one person knew who you were. Why oh Why aren't your promoters advertising you a bit more in the UK. Bands do advertise their new albums on our TV screens and I am convinced beyond all shadow of doubt that just a few bars from some of your songs on tV would have music lovers flocking to the local shops to buy your stuff. Tell your promoters to get their finger out Joe.

Anibur - Yeah I suppose you're right, we wouldn't be able to get so close to Joe if he was known by everybody on the planet. Does that make Joe Exclusively ours.

Naty - how do you get on with the Euro, are things more expensive or cheaper. Over here most people you talk to are against the change and will vote against the euro when the referendum comes. We used the Euro in Greece and it wasn't so bad, prices didn't seem expensive at all but that's Greece, in England we seem to get ripped off. I've been to New York and seen how much cheaper stuff is over there too. We always seem to pay far too much for our stuff over here.

JOE, SBM just seems to get better every time I listen to it, I would probably say this is your best album yet. That wah wah sound in You Saved My Life just brings out the emotion. What is this song about?

Bye the way, where is Reno, please excuse my ignorance, Geography never was my strong point.

Thanks

Hey Jon - Second Stu Hacking's request, why didn't we get the bonus tracks in the UK.

Peter Mulas - got your copy of SBM yet?

Anybody, is anyone watching the boxing at the Commonwealth games. There's a bloke called David Cadieux from Canada boxing the Nigerian bloke and he's just won. Joe, any relation to Eric?

Sharon

Hi everyone, thanks for the History lesson, I can sleep at night now I know where Reno is.

Welcome back Austin - hope you had a good holiday and are refreshed enough to read all of the messages in detail, no skipping now.

Today my son is 20 and I feel bloody old, just brings it home that I am 40 next year and don't want to be. I just don't know where the last 20 years have gone. Anyway, it could be my excuse for doing daft stuff, being silly and generally having a laugh before it's too late. Does that sound morbid, hope not.

Anyway, subject for discussion - the state of music in the UK. There wasn't much work on today so we sat about and had a natter and we all agreed that the music scene in the UK is pretty chronic and that's putting it mildly. I know this subject has been brought up before but it is just getting worse. On the breakfast tele the other morning they brought in a band called Toploader and said this band was the up and coming group for the UK, well I'm sorry but if that is the state of play, gawd help us and to make matters worse Gerri Halliwell is bringing out some dumb pop star programme to drive us all nuts with. When bands like Genesis decided to pack up, Led Zep packed up and Queen stopped after Freddie died no-one came to fill their shoes, there wasn't even anyone knocking on the door waiting to get in. It looks well when we have to wait for someone like Joe to bring us what we all want and yearn for which is just basic good music. Have the music Companies lost the plot or can't they be arsed to get round the clubs and pubs and find what must be out there or isn't anyone trying anymore. Whatever happened to the good old fashioned talent scout. Joe - hope you never stop pumping out the good stuff, we need the lifeline you send out. For me you are filling a gap that is just getting bigger and bigger.

Anyway, moan over.

My son is off out tonight to celebrate his birthday so I'll have a drunken 6' lump to contend with later on.

Mr Nick - I was having a bit of a chunter there but glad there are some voices in agreement. I certainly wont be changing my taste in music just to follow like sheep and stay in with the popular rubbish that's about these days. Glad to see bands like Deep Purple and the Scorpions are still going, photos of them this month in Classic Rock as well as a big piece on Jimi Hendrix. Bit on Robert Plant too, going to see him in October.

Naty - I hope life comes out with a bang at 40. I'm considering a tattoo at the moment, don't know if I will go through with it, could be a coming up to 40 thing.

Anibur - did you say you had a Satriani hat, where did you get that from I didn't see any at SBE.

Michelle - thanks.

LooHoo, suppose you are right, age is just a number. Just makes you feel old when your son turns 20, didn't seem that long since I was 20.

Non-smoker - birthdays do make you think of what you have/haven't achieved. Happy 33rd birthday.

Austin - back to your usual help us all self. Had a good holiday?

Have a good weekend everybody.

LOL Sharon

Morning everyone, it's 7.30am UK time.

Anibur - Tentacles are always funny

Punkdude - Thanks - Joe Rules Too.

Cabroa - That's Tragic

Stu-Hacking - My son twice my age aaaaaaaah

For Adun- Seminars tiring then, do you want me to send you my Bullshit Bingo game to keep you awake.

Metallica better than Led Zep??? There's no comparison,it's LED ZEP of course.

Dragonchild/Michelle - Tattoos, don't know if I will take the plunge but what design, where to put it. Are there any Joe patterns to use?

Ibztone - my other half has started to learn guitar and he's 44.

Michelle- re your neighbour, get the joss sticks out and the oil burners, you can get Cannabis to burn, no it's not the illegal kind, it smells really strong, a bit like soap, very pleasant.

Amil- hope your dad gets better, that Joe effect is so strong.

Got to get ready for work now.

LOL Sharon