Master Yoda - Lots of strength to you sunshine. Your Nan will be proud watching you from the cloudy stuff.

Michelle - wow a bodybuilding sister aye, are you planning to join in?

Nick - Well done there, were you nervous, just do the audience with no clothes on thing, works everytime ha ha.

Well America how have you enjoyed Pop Stars and our naughty Simon. Do you think it's how to find talent in the future. Come on give us some feedback.

LOL Sharon

Michelle - well said there, as a doggie person don't forget the pooches who also risked their lives pulling people out of the wreckage and suffered injuries themselves doing their work. The story about the SAR dogs is quite moving. It all seems so unbelievable even now. At work we can all remember where we were and what we were doing on the 11th, still can't believe it all.

Local Person - Andy has a new guitar tutor, the other fella is now too bogged down with pupils. His new tutor sounds like the character that auditions Pam Doove from the League of Gents, he's very cool cool. ha ha.

I have some daft stuff to post when I find the time.

LOL Sharon

Hey Satch fans, don't squabble about war/conflict/politics or religion, these arguments only serve to divide us, stay together as one on the path of peace/chocolate and Satch music.

In the UK and all over the world we'll be sad again in November on Rememberance Sunday when we pay our respects to those who died in conflict trying to keep us all safe and free.

Stay peaceful and warm surrounded by the magical sound of Joe Satriani.

Have a look at this

WOMEN > > They smile when they want to scream. > They sing when they want to cry. > They cry when they are happy and laugh > when they are nervous > They fight for what they believe in. > They stand up for injustice. > They don't take "no" for an answer when > they believe there is a better solution. > > They go without new shoes so their > children can have them. > They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. > They love unconditionally. > They cry when their children excel and > cheer when their friends get awards. > > They are happy when they hear about a > birth or a new marriage. > Their hearts break when a friend dies. > They have sorrow at the loss of a family > member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. > They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a > broken heart. > > Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. > They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail > you to show how much they care about you. > The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! > Women do more than just give birth. > They bring joy and hope. > They give compassion and ideals. > They give moral support to their family and friends. > Women have a lot to say and a lot to give. > > This has been sent to you from someone who > respects you as a woman > Pass it along to your woman friends to > remind them how amazing > they are............ > > IT'S BEAUTIFUL WOMEN MONTH! > > IT'S GOOD TO BE THE WOMAN. > > We got off the Titanic first. > > We can scare male bosses with mysterious > gynecological disorder excuses. > > Taxis stop for us. > > We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. > > No fashion faux pas we make could ever > rival The Speedo. > > We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves. > > If we forget to shave, no one has to know. > > We can congratulate our teammate without > ever touching her rear. > > We never have to reach down every so often > to make sure our privates are still there. > > We have the ability to dress ourselves. > > We can talk to people of the opposite sex > without having to picture them naked. > > If we marry someone 20 years younger, > we're aware that we look like an idiot. > > There are times when chocolate really can > solve all your problems. > > We'll never regret piercing our ears. > > We can fully assess a person just by > looking at their shoes. > > We can make comments about how silly men > are in their presence, because they aren't listening > anyway.

Ha ha

Mr Nick

No need to get snotty now, I've had trouble with my computer this week and haven't been able to read all the posts.

PhygDom - is it your birthday, Happy Birthday Phyrgian Dominant. Get any nice pressies.

For Adun - don't understand your message, you wrote that you are listening and do pay attention, can't remember what I put, been to bed since then.

Just changed my nickname to chocoholic, thought it was appropriate.

I'm pretty sure when God created the earth he said "And let there be chocolate" and there was.

Foradun - ah that explains that one then.

On Yngwie Malmsteem, if he said that about Joe he can shove himself up his own bottom. My son came home with a Yngwie CD the other day, the guy that gave it to him didn't like it, we didn't like it, tried to give it away at work - no one at work likes it, CD is now in the trash.

Dragonchild - buy them all.

Naty - don't you drink any alcohol at all, I quite like Cherry Brandy and lemonade, trouble is it tastes like pop so you drink more of it, makes walking about a bit difficult.

Whojack - hope you get better soon.

JOE we are missing you here on T2J. Send us a message please.

R6rocker - no, haven't had the tattoo yet, I'm not 40 til January, might do it then and husband has offered to pay for it. He thinks i'll be scared, think he has forgotten I've had his two sons.

Ladies - which do you think is more painful, having kids or a tattoo.

I'll vote for Jblaze as guitar guard .

I'm off on hols next week, no computer there just fields and more fields.

JOE - chuck us a bone would ya, speak to us soon. Do you wash dishes in between concerts or will that make your hands too soft.

Michelle - You can be assured that I wont be having my eyelids tattooed and I didn't have an epidural, I just screamed the place down.

Austin - My sister in law buys from Ebay, glass of all things, it all comes without any problems and no breakages.

Local Person - have you seen any TV lately The League are doing a third series, starts next week I think.

Austin - when is this quiz then, glad you didn't say test, I hate tests, it's just like being back in School.

JBlaze - are you ready for your new job, I think we ought to have a look at your CV though, just to be sure you are the man for the job. On interview for the job, how do you think you would shape up for example what would be your answer if I asked you "Do you have beady eyes, can you spot a potential guitar nicker and what would you do with him?" Any more questions for JBlaze - interview panel - get your thinking caps on.

LOL Sharon

Evening Satch kids, we've just come back from our hols in the North of Wales, I've never seen so many sheep, everywhere you look, white fluffy things. No computer though so no T2J but lots of chilling out and pink rock.

Anything exciting happened whilst we've been away?

Local Person - didn't think much of the new League Series, think they've gone a bit too far this time, Pauline and Mickey together, yak. Looking forward to the next Lord of The Rings Film. This new guitar teacher of Andy's (Mr Kool) has certainly improved his co-ordination over the last few weeks, he can actually put a bit of a tune together, whatever next.

JSClone1 can't remember if it was you who answered me re the tone deaf stuff but my tone deaf bloke is doing OK.

The leaves are starting to fall and winter's on it's way, have fun everybody, that's all I've got to say.

LOL Sharon

JSClone1 - I asked the question some time back if a person who was tone deaf could play an instrument. I had only one response and if my memory serves me correctly this was you. Now his guitar, amp, wires, books, pedal has taken over his half of the bedroom, I clean my half and he is left to clean his. ha ha.

Invigor - Have you only just realised how great girls are.

Ovation - Peanut Butter and thick crusty bread

I am become death, don't like this track, sorry Joe.

Phyg Dom - Nah, not dissing the teacher, he's quite funny actually, seems to have a knack on how to teach stuff. You'd have to watch the League of Gents tapes to appreciate the Kool, Kool bit. I have kids and dogs, they're all kids really, my husband is a big kid too.

Mr Nick - We live about a mile from Cannock, Hednesford Raceway is virtually round the corner for us.

Food - Drink - Eating chocolate and plain crisps is quite nice. I like drinking Ribena neat. Peanut butter - good husband repellant. ha ha. Another good husband repellant - Marmite ha ha ha.

Local Person - you get bad throats through being up drafty alley ways doing goodness knows what. ha ha get better soon.

JOE - do you intend paying us a visit on here or not, isn't it about time you took a minute or two out of your busy day to chill out a bit and read some of these messages. Moan over, will you join in the food debate, what weird stuff do you eat.

Go to go back to work this afternoon, still, on the upside the tea trolley will be round selling tea and chocolate.

Evening satch fans, it's nearly 8 o'clock Monday night, can't believe the weekend has gone already.

Michelle - Joe can shake his thing at me and shout get up I'm hungry any time he likes, if only. (sighs)

J Blaze - read your mails, had a good laugh, funny stuff. You'll have to forgive me here, I thought you were a fella.

Minushuman- hope your son gets well soon.

Kell - The Young Ones, ha ha they were really funny, got some of their episodes taped somewhere, have you ever seen Rick Mayal in the Blackadder stuff.

Lettuce - just tear it up.

On the subject of cars, Fords are not bad cars, they sometimes have bad drivers though. I loved my XR2, it was bright red and went like shit off a shovel. I'm driving a sluggish Nissan van now, caged out for my dogs don't you know. On the subject of dogs my Sunny Monster is back on track, a mix of SBM, Crystal Planet and The Extremist seems to be doing the trick. Reserve Best in Show on Saturday. Thanks Joe.

JBlaze, ah you are a bloke then, couldn't have read your mail properly, headache was threatening to explode so concentration a bit off.

Linda - Wow you must be so proud, keep plugging away there and keep us all posted. someone has already said e mail Webmaster, might be worth a shot.

Local Person - I can juggle, are you better?

DaveMc - I know it might be frustrating to realise there are loads who don't know Joe but on the upside when he tours, we can get tickets and get closer to the Maestro. If Joe was as well known as say Bruce Springsteen, we wouldn't get a look in and his tickets would cost a fortune.

Just had G3 on DVD, great show Joe, liked Eric's stuff and Mr Vai, he does seem a bit on the flash side. Hasn't Stu got chunky legs.

LoL Sharon

Hi Austin - welcome back, have you got the bog eyes after reading all those posts.

Michelle - Ah you meant breakfast cereals, still, to have Joe shake anything in the morning at you would be gobsmackingly unbelievable especially as you've said, he is such a lovely fella.

Local Person - good luck with your performance.

What about a G2 thing with Joe and Angus Young, Joe do you have good legs cause Angus still wears his School Uniform shorts.

LOL Sharon

Guitarbabe- Yeah Michelle said it all, we were just having a bit of a laugh, nout wrong in that is there and I am happy to say that I join the many when I say I Love Joe too and this is meant in the best possible taste, his inspirations obviously come from the love of Rubina and ZZ so let's all take a moment and say Love and Respect to Joe and his family.

Austin - I also had Joe look and point at me when we were in London this year, connection with the master is priceless.

Phydeux - how do you do that stuff.

Local person - I never did understand why men whacked balls round a field but if it gets rid of your tensions then go for it.

Well I'll finish by saying yesterday we had the best day. Austin - my sunny lad travelled down to a Championship Dog Show serenaded by LISF yet again and not only won his class, he was then awarded the Kennel Clubs Challenge Certificate for being the best male Dobermann there that day, he then went up against the best female Dobermann who is a Champion in three countries, and he beat her for best overall specimen. To say that Andy and I were stunned is an understatement.

Crystaljammer - Nowadays, when I hear Big Bad Moon, Big Bad Baboon pops into my head, sorry Joe but it is funny. ha ha

Austin - I'm getting used to weird stuff. Thanks for the congrats folks, Sunny is having a well earned snooze after demolishing his freebie pedigree chum.

Don't know what anybody else thinks but this year is going too quickly, doesn't seem that long ago when we were standing in front of Joe in London. Aaah time does fly when you're having fun.

Hi there Satch fans, haven't been on for a few days and Oh My God, what is this Sharon/Michelle/Guitarzbabe thing. It seems that something that was posted that was light hearted, fun and non offensive has been turned into a bit of a battle. I haven't had time to read all of the posts since Friday but can this one be put to bed please before it is blown up into some seriously bad proportions. We are all hopefully joined in the total admiration of one of the finest artists this world has ever seen and I am joyously happy to be part of that. My life is richer for having Joe's music and my dog and I are eternally grateful.

Paul Clark - I hope you believe me, I am a good person you know. Incidentally, how old are you, for some reason I thought you were a young thing.

Phydeux3 - had a look at your pooches, they look very nice. I grew up with Shepherds, hope you enjoy yours. Dobies are not so easy to train, they are stubborn and seem to have an opinion on why they have to do certain things. You can find pictures of my lot on www.dogclub.co.uk Click on the D and then on Dobermann, you'll find us on the list as Zajonti. Don't look at me though, I never take a good photo especially on a bad hair day.

Michelle - goods posts, not offensive.

Almost forgot - we went to see Robert Plant last night at Birmingham Academy and Oh boy was it loud, my ears hurt, my head was in pain and was a bit deaf on leaving the building. Robert and his band were good though, they did a great version of Whole lotta Love. His intro band was Arthur Brown, remember him, he did that song called Fire, think that what it was called anyway. He was good but was he crazy or what, totalled bombed out, he jumped off the stage and over the railings and into the crowd not far from me, most backed away from this barmy seventies throwback.

My ears are back to normal now, colleagues at work were taking the pee though and talking quietly on purpose. Couldn't hear propertly until about lunchtime.

Peace and Happiness to everyone in Satchland.

JOE - hope everybody gets home safely, don't stop off in Bali whatever you do.

Not been on for a couple of days and have read all posts since about Tuesday. I can't believe this bit of Michelle and I having a giggle has turned into something so horrid. I know Joe is a very busy fella but I wish he had got the time to read what we wrote and tell us himself if he felt any offense. If he did I know I would apologise most profusly.

Lots of Love to you Joe and your family.

My 98th message, nearly 100.

For Adun - Arthur Brown - can't remember exactly what he was called, I was just a kid when he came out. For the future it will be Go To Concerts, Will Have Earplugs.

Joe - On the subject of loudness at Concerts, I thought you had the sound just about right, loud enough and not painful.

Local Person - I like Fawlty Towers, have all episodes.

Paul Clark - are you getting the confusions now, no I am not making passes at anybody, heaven forbid I'm a married person you know, sorry old git. (isn't git a good word)

Anibur - Wow you're posting again, not had a good week at work either, we've been told jobs will be cut again next year so I could soon be a household bod.

Peace and Happiness everybody, and oh yes NO WAR.

Post 99, nearly there.

Ha Ha One Hundred.

Ah we have the sun today.

Sunny Monster is showing tomorrow, just a little show this time, twill be about 10.30am British Time.

He will be being advertised in the Dobermann Club's yearbook and I do feel compelled to put a thank you in to Joe. His songs ring in my head when we are showing and calm my nerves. Joe deserves a mention don't you think.