I was reading a bunch of old TTJ posts from last year, and I noticed that a few tired complaints keep popping up time and time again. I've compiled some common lines into one generic post -- see if this sounds familiar:
Joe, why don't you ever come to [INSERT NAME OF HOMETOWN]? You have [INSERT TOTAL POPULATION OF HOMETOWN] fans here that would all pay to see you.
I can't believe you never play [FAVORITE OBSCURE SONG #1] or [FAVORITE OBSCURE SONG #2] at your shows.
The last show I went to see was great, but the [INSERT FAVORITE EXPLICIT ADJECTIVE] sound man was [INSERT SECOND-FAVORITE EXPLICIT ADJECTIVE]!
Why did you pick [INSERT NAME OF PAST G3 GUEST -- PROBABLY YNGWIE MALMSTEEN OR ROBERT FRIPP] for G3?
You should pick [INSERT NAME OF POPULAR GUITAR HERO THAT WILL NEVER APPEAR ON THE G3 TOUR BECAUSE HE IS EITHER TOO FAMOUS OR DEAD] or [INSERT NAME OF RANDOM MUSICIAN THAT NOBODY'S EVER HEARD OF] next time.
And by the way, why does everyone here seem to hate [INSERT NAME OF PAST G3 GUEST -- PROBABLY YNGWIE MALMSTEEN OR ROBERT FRIPP]? Can you play better than him?
And a special message to [INSERT NAME OF WELL-INTENTIONED TTJ MEMBER HERE]: I can't believe that you belive that [INSERT RELIGIOUS, POLITICAL, OR PERSONAL HYGIENE ISSUE HERE]. Just because you're a bigoted, ignorant, short-sighted, knuckle-dragging Nazi doesn't give you the right to judge other people.
Later,
[INSERT TTJ ALIAS]