Just stopping by for a minute - be back more, maybe on Wednesday.

The Old Mule

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch.

Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag; it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet,caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.

This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

Vacation Advice

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.

Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas,and Earlene got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene got pregnant once again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earlene with me."

The Little Boy


A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face.

"Mom, look, I'm a white boy."

His mom slaps him in the face and says "Go show your father."

He goes to his dad in the living room and says "Look dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says "Go show your grandmother."

The boy goes in his grandmothers room and says "Mira, abuelita, I'm a white boy."

His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.

His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?"

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.

He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.

"I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said.

Hey everybody ! ! !

So, did I miss anything good?

Everything has been fine - thanks for all of you who have checked in on me.

Just been busy - a few changed priorties.

I was saving neat things to post here - but since many of you did not like when I posted too many things in a row - I decided just to post more timely / current items.

I will be around more - not as much as before most likely.

Looking forward to the new live CD / DVD and I hope a USA G3 follows.

So - What's New?

Suzie2000

Good to be back.

I was gone for a long time, huh? Maybe 2 months? Longer?

Suzie2000

Yep - pretty well.

Bought pants the other day - smallest size I have purchased in some some some time.

Been trying to keep / stay healthy.

slanshroom

Same old stuff.

Just trying to have a little fun every day - some days I am more successful than others.

Here is a pretty neat little thing from Paul Harvey. Can you guess the riddle at the end.

Paul Harvey Writes:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room ,but w hen he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

Send this to all of your friends. We secure our friends, not by accepting favors, but by doing them.

Paul Harvey RIDDLE:

When asked this riddle, 80% of kindergarten kids got the answer, compared to 17% of Stanford University seniors.

What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?

cuthbert1776, slanshroom, mikesb, BigBunny

It is good to see some familiar names pop up.

cuthbert1776 - still being difficult around here - trying to keep everyone in line?

I don't like to shop for clothes - but when clothes end up falling off - it is time to do something about it.

Think before you speak...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"

I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."

My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."

Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So STACY where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Who's in Heaven?

I was shocked, confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven's door, Not by the beauty of it all, by the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven who made me sputter and gasp-- the thieves, the liars, the sinners, the alcoholics, the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade who swiped my lunch money twice. Next to him was my old neighbor who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought was rotting away in hell, was sitting pretty on cloud nine, looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal? I would love to hear Your take. How'd all these sinners get up here? God must've made a mistake.

And why's everyone so quiet, so somber? Give me a clue." "Hush, child," said He "They're all in shock. No one thought they'd see you."

Thought of the Day

I still can't believe my friends decided to let me sleep it off when I got high and passed out at the original Woodstock festival back in 1969.

Alternate Names for a Smokers' Airline

5> Smokes on a Plane

4> Gaspingfor Air

3> Lunghansa

2> Chronically Obstructed Airways

and the Number 1 Alternate Name for a Smokers' Airline...

Yale University to post courses on Web for free

BOSTON (Reuters) - Yale University said on Wednesday it will offer digital videos of some courses on the Internet for free, along with transcripts in several languages, in an effort to make the elite private school more accessible.

While Princeton University, Massachusetts Institute of Technology and others already offer course material online without charge, Yale is the first to focus on free video lectures, the New Haven, Connecticut-based school said.

The 18-month pilot project will provide videos, syllabi and transcripts for seven courses beginning in the 2007 academic year. They include "Introduction to the Old Testament," "Fundamentals of Physics" and "Introduction to Political Philosophy."

The courses cannot be counted toward a Yale degree, and educators say they are no substitute for actual teaching.

Students at Yale -- one of the nation's most exclusive schools and the alma mater of President Bush -- can be expected to spend nearly $46,000 for this year's tuition, room and board.

Do The Stu

Good to read another review from you.

Another school shooting - this is getting stupid!! What are people thinking.

QUESTION FOR ALL

Being we are the most intelligent music lovers on the planet . . . . .

Are any of you (or were any of you) home schooled?

If so - what it a good experience, or bad experience? (Please explain)

Also - how long were you home schooled - until 8th grade, through high school?

Any insights / thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

The New Release

Any word on any special promotions from Sony?

ie - autographed, poster, pics?

I haven't noticed anything yet - but I have been out of the box a lot around here.

I am trying to stick around a little more - when I can.

Thanks

gotta have Joe

If you have been home schooling for 3 years - you must have done some regular schooling prior to?

What about the home schooling experience is "way better" than regular school?

I know may families out there home schooling their children - usually with good results. The stigma is no longer there and there appears to be a lot of good programs out there.

Satriella

Thank you for your 2 cents on the Home Schooling topic. I agree with you - may children who are home schooled do score better and seem more intelligent (worldly). The fear is lack of interpersonal relationships - dealing with difficult friends/people - so that when you reach the work place - you tend to work alone and do not interact with others well.

Rejected Pentagon Slogans

5> Now with 25% more sides than any other federal agency!

4> You'll do.

3> Hey, know what would really piss off your parents?

2> It's Mullah time!

and the Number 1 Rejected Pentagon Slogan...

Satriella & Suzie2000

edit - and michelle

With regards to education - as with any profession - there are good and there are bad. There are good accountants and bad accountants. There are good students, and students who do not do so well.

We all have our gifts, hopefully we put our gifts to good use, that can also, in the end, keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.

I am just looking for some guidance / insight into the world of home schooling. I end up interacting with a lot of teachers, and most of them are good, however, some should be teaching other grades (expectations too high, or not tough enough on the loose cannons in the class).

U2 hits CD boasts new song, punk rock cover

NEW YORK (Billboard) - A new song and a cover of Scottish punk band the Skids' "The Saints Are Coming" with Green Day will be found on a U2 compilation due November 21.

The as-yet-untitled Interscope Records set, which will also be available in a deluxe edition, will feature "16 of U2's best-songs," according to the band's Web site (http://www.u2.com).

Both the new song and the Skids cover were recorded last month at London's Abbey Road Studio with producer Rick Rubin, who had long dreamed of adding U2 to a long list of such clients as the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Johnny Cash and Slayer.

U2 and Green Day debuted the cover live last week at the re-opening of the New Orleans Superdome; it is available for download exclusively until October 30 via Rhapsody, after which point it will hit additional download retailers. A CD single will follow on November 6.

U2's most recent compilation, "The Best Of 1990-2000," was released in December 2002 and included material up through the 2000 album "All That You Can't Leave Behind."

Google launches literacy project

FRANKFURT (Reuters) - Google Inc. (Nasdaq:GOOG - news) unveiled on Wednesday a Web site dedicated to literacy, pulling together its books, video, mapping and blogging services to help teachers and educational organizations share reading resources.

The site was launched at the Frankfurt Book Fair, the world's largest gathering of publishing executives, in conjunction with the United Nations and a literacy campaign organized by fair officials.

While the service seeks to combine a rich set of resources to combat global illiteracy, it also helps bolster the educational credentials at a company with a market value of around $120 billion.

"Google's business was born out of a desire to help people find information," said Nikesh Arora, vice president of Google's European operations.

"We hope this site will serve as a bridge to even greater communication and access to important information about literacy problems -- and solutions," he added.

More than 1 billion people around the world over the age of 15 are considered illiterate, according to the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization ( UNESCO).

The project, at google.com/literacy and google.de/literacy, also serves as a fresh way for Google to expand and differentiate its fledgling video service, which is playing catch-up against popular sites such as YouTube.

Google has asked literacy groups around the world to upload video segments explaining and demonstrating their successful teaching programs. Among the first few hundred to be posted is a same-language subtitle project from India that uses Bollywood films to teach reading.

A nonprofit group in New York called 826NYC is helping a group of six-to-nine-year-olds make a video tutorial for Google, while a set of older kids is filming a claymation short.

"When our students see the Web as something they can contribute to -- rather than just browse through -- they're inspired to think bigger, write more and film more," said Joan Kim, the group's director of education.

The service also uses Google's mapping technology to help literacy organizations find each other, and provides links to reading resources.

cuthbert1776

You have email . . .

Also - I watched the ABC program (most of it) - teachers also complain (in some areas) of being under paid, but they get paid very well (in some areas). I have a friend who was offered a teaching position in Alaska ($49K to start, $2K moving expenses, $5K signing bonus, with review in 1 year - of a 3 year contract - max to be $55K). Not bad for coming right out of school.

Keniko/cuthbert1776/michelle

School can be a dangerous place - may be safer for children to be at home? Definately do not send them to DC to be a Page.