An Airforce Test

This will drive you nuts!!

Have fun!

The object of the game is to move the red block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls.

If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal.

It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots.

They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes.

Give it a try but be careful... it is addictive!!

jblaze1

Cool story - true, if you learn from the best (at least one of the best) why head to school (time, money, heartache).

Do you still list him as a reference?

Mean sauces - as in painful or tastey.

jblaze1

js1200js1000

jblaze1

jblaze1

I would love a receipe for your salsa, but not the kind that will take the enamel off of my teeth - something more toned down - if you have anything like that.

THE CRUEFEST ANNOUNCEMENT:

Press Release / Fuse to Air Motley Crue Press Event Live Today - www.multichannel.com/article/CA6551400.html "Borrowing a page from its chief's old VH-1 Classic book, the Fuse network will air live from Los Angeles a Tuesday press conference at which Motley Crue members are expected to announce a summer tour involving other rock bands, as well.

Fuse put out an advisory saying something would be announced at the 7 p.m. ET/4 p.m. PT event – as did Tommy Lee and company. But a Web site called The Gauntlet previously said the band was going to announce a "Crue Fest" tour also involving the bands Papa Roach, Motley Crue, Sixx A.M., Buckcherry, and Trapt. It said tickets would go on sale for most venues tomorrow, as well.

Fuse president Eric Sherman used this technique to effect in February 2007 when he ran VH-1 Classic: it aired a live press conference from Los Angeles at which The Police announced their reunion tour and performed."

Motley Crue to release single on Rock Band game

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - In a nod to the ascendancy of video games, rock 'n' roll bad boys Motley Crue will become the first group to release a new single through Rock Band, said the developer of the wildly popular game.

"Saints of Los Angeles," the first single from the group's upcoming album, will be available for download for 99 cents beginning on Tuesday via Microsoft Corp's Xbox Live Marketplace and on Thursday via Sony Corp's PlayStation store, said Viacom Inc's MTV Games.

In "Rock Band," gamers play along to songs with controllers shaped like a guitar, drum set, or microphone. The game is sold for about $170 for consoles such as Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. It competes with the similarly popular "Guitar Hero" series, made by Activision Inc.

Their success has underscored the potential of video games as a new source of revenue for a music industry grappling with falling CD sales.

"Rock Band" went on sale last November, and now has more than 80 tracks available for download in addition to the 58 tracks in the original game. MTV Games said players have bought more than 6 million downloadable songs for Rock Band. Tunes range from classics by the likes of the Who and the Rolling Stones to more-contemporary fare from the Killers and Fall Out Boy.

Details of Motley Crue's album are expected to be announced during a news conference in Hollywood on Tuesday.

The hard-living metal band, which rose to prominence during the glam-metal era in the late-1980s, is famed for such tunes as "Dr. Feelgood" and "Shout at the Devil."

THE IRS AUDIT

The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.

The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay Go ahead."

Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops.

Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor no w realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

Phydeaux_3

Great one - nice twist at the end of the wrestling joke.

Truth is out there about ‘X-Files’ movie title

LOS ANGELES - The truth is finally out there about the new “X-Files” movie title.

The second big-screen spinoff of the paranormal TV adventure will be called “The X-Files: I Want to Believe,” Chris Carter, the series’ creator and the movie’s director and co-writer, told The Associated Press.

Distributor 20th Century Fox signed off on the title Wednesday.

The title is a familiar phrase for fans of the series that starred David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson as FBI agents chasing after aliens and supernatural happenings. “I Want to Believe” was the slogan on a poster Duchovny’s UFO-obsessed agent Fox Mulder had hanging in the cluttered basement office where he and Anderson’s Dana Scully worked.

“It’s a natural title,” Carter said in a telephone interview Tuesday during a break from editing the film. “It’s a story that involves the difficulties in mediating faith and science. ‘I Want to Believe.’ It really does suggest Mulder’s struggle with his faith.”

“I Want to Believe” comes 10 years after the first film and six years after the finale of the series, whose opening credits for much of its nine-year run featured the catch-phrase “the truth is out there.”

Due in theaters July 25, the movie will not deal with aliens or the intricate mythology about interaction between humans and extraterrestrials that the show built up over the years, Carter said.

Instead, it casts Mulder and Scully into a stand-alone, earth-bound story aimed at both serious “X-Files” fans and newcomers, he said.

“It has struck me over the last several years talking to college-age kids that a lot of them really don’t know the show or haven’t seen it,” Carter said. “If you’re 20 years old now, the show started when you were 4. It was probably too scary for you or your parents wouldn’t let you watch it. So there’s a whole new audience that might have liked the show. This was made to, I would call it, satisfy everyone.”

Hardcore fans need not worry that the movie will be going back to square one, though, Carter said. The movie will be true to the spirit of the show and everything Mulder and Scully went through, he said.

“The reason we’re even making the movie is for the rabid fans, so we don’t want to insult them by having to take them back through the concept again,” Carter said.

Carter said he settled on “I Want to Believe” from the time he and co-writer Frank Spotnitz started on the screenplay. It took so long to go public with it because studio executives wanted to make sure it was a marketable title, he said.

The filmmakers have kept the story tightly under wraps to prevent plot spoilers from leaking on the Internet, a phenomenon that barely existed when the first movie came out in 1998.

The Motley Crue Saints of Los Angeles official music video

check out

These are from a book called ' Disorder in the American Courts ' , and are things people actually said in court, word for word , taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

_______________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: ; Did you actually pass the bar exam?

____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid!

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS : Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Guess.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 P.M.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at t he time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh...are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

AC/DC SET TO RELEASE NEW ALBUM THIS YEAR - YES, FOR REAL!

At last...after many rumors and many false starts...they are underway!! "The waiting is almost over! AC/DC fans can expect the band's next album of new material sometime later this year. The band are currently recording in Vancouver with producer Brendan O'Brien and long time audio engineer Mike Fraser. This will be the band's first collection of new material since the release of Stiff Upper Lip in 2000." This new album and world tour has long been rumored as a farewell from the band. Time will tell.

Naked Running

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'

'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'

'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied.

He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window!

As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

'Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.

'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'

Another runner moved alongside. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?'

Oh , yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'

NEW MOTLEY CRUE TRACK LISTING REVEALED

Amazon.com have listed a tentative track list for the new Motley Crue album Saints Of The Underground, which will be due out in June. The songs are:

1. Mother Fucker Of the Year

2. Down At The Whiskey

3. Saints of Los Angeles

4. Face Down In The Dirt

5. What's It Gonna Take

6. Chicks = Trouble

7. White Trash Circus

8. The Animal In Me

9. Welcome To The Machine

10. This Ain't A Love Song

Nine Inch Nails Offers Freebie Of New Album

Nine Inch Nails, in a surprise move, posted access to a free download of its complete new album, "The Slip," on its Web site at 12:01 a.m. this morning (May 5).

The ten-track album is available in several formats -- including MP3 and high-quality, lossless options like FLAC -- via a link on NIN.com. All of the formats come free of digital rights management.

A statement on the site from frontman Trent Reznor says simply, “Thank you for your continued and loyal support over the years -- this one's on me."

Nine Inch Nails plans to release “The Slip” on CD and vinyl in July and will use traditional brick-and-mortar distribution. Further details about the physical product have yet to be announced.

Manager Jim Guerinot tells Billboard.com that the timing for the free digital download felt right because "we just put a record out [and] we're going on-sale with tickets."

He adds that Reznor's "been in a prolific phase and we didn't want 'business' to get in the way of getting the art in the hands of the fans. We've looked at the climate and the many advantages of being able to do whatever we want without bureaucracy."

"The Slip" features Reznor on vocals and various instruments, as well as Josh Freese, Robin Finck and Alessandro Cortini. Guerinot also reports to Billboard.com that Reznor "worked again with his team of Alan Moulder and Atticus Ross out of his garage" on the recording and says word of the album came late.

"T[rent] let me know there was some new music coming and the next thing I knew there was a full-length record done.... It's very exciting to be finishing mixing on Thursday, mastering Friday, finishing artwork on Saturday and having the world hear it [Monday morning]!"

To get the download of “The Slip,” site users need to provide an email address, to which a link is sent that includes access to all format options. All downloads also include a PDF with lyrics and artwork.

This is the first time Nine Inch Nails has made a new album available completely and exclusively for free as a digital download.

Demand for the new music appeared to be immediate and heavy. Just after 9:30 a.m. ET, the site was slowed to a crawl due to traffic.

A free single, "Discipline," was released last week to terrestrial radio stations and their websites, while the track "Echoplex" is available on social networking site iLike.

In addition to giving away the album's finished tracks, Nine Inch Nails is also making freely available the multi-track files for “The Slip,” which can be reconstructed and then posted to Nine Inch Nails’ fan remix site, remix.nin.com.

Like the band's previous album, "Ghosts I-IV," "The Slip" is being released under a Creative Common license, so it can be redistributed freely.

Anybody here ever do a triathlon?

If so, how long was yours?

What was your time?

What was your best event of it? Why?

What was your worst event? Why?

For how long did your train?

How did you train?

Was it fun?

Would you do another?

I am thinking of doing one in August - time to train is now (Monday). Just looking for some feed back on your triathlon experience.

Sorry for all the questions - just looking for my next challenge.

I just ran the Indianapolis Mini Marathon this past weekend.

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. _____________________________________________________

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month. ________________________________________________

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? ____________________________________________________

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. ______________________________________________________

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in. ________________________________________________

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees. ____________________________________

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3 rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. ______________________________________________________

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby : Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. ________________________________________

At Home:

1st baby : You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children. ______________________________________________________

Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance!

A newborn's conversation with God

A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?'

God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'

The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.'

God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'

Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?'

God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'

'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?'

God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.'

'Who will protect me?'

God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.'

'But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.'

God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'

Achoo

Long time no see.

Still have that cool hat from the Chicago concert a few years back?

Do The Stu

Damn Yankees and Bad English were great bands - didn't stick around long enough.

These "super groups" are like that - sort of like Velvet Revolver.

achoo

Cool - glad you still have that hat.

Been busy - sorry haven't written back.

I am assuming Joe will be back to Chicago soon. Hopefully I can make it again.

WHAT IS THE GREATEST GUITAR RIFF OF ALL TIME?

A recent internal poll of the students at Guitar-X (www.guitar-x.co.uk), the guitar students at London's prestigious 'Tech Music Schools', has resulted in the following list outlining, in order of popularity, the top 25 guitar riffs of all time to coincide with their 25th anniversary celebrations. The results of the survey are as follows:

1. Smoke On The Water - Deep Purple (1973)

2. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana (1991)

3. Walk This Way - Aerosmith (1975)

4. Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix (1967)

5. Sweet Child O Mine - Guns N Roses (1987)

6. Paradise City - Guns N Roses (1987)

7. Ace Of Spades - Motorhead (1980)

8. Enter Sandman - Metallica (1991)

9. Under The Bridge - Red Hot Chilli Peppers (1992)

10. Welcome To The Jungle - Guns N Roses (1987)

11. Run To The Hills - Iron Maiden (1982)

12. Walk - Pantera (1992)

13. Johnny Be Goode - Chuck Berry (1958)

14. Back In Black - AC/DC (1980)

15. Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin (1970)

16. Wake Up - Rage Against The Machine (1992)

17. Highway to Hell - AC/DC (1979)

18. My Generation - The Who (1965)

19. 7 Nation Army - The White Stripes (2003)

20. Born To Be Wild - Steppenwolf (1968)

21. Give It Away - Red Hot Chilli Peppers (1991)

22. Paranoid - Black Sabbath (1970)

23. Voodoo Chile (Slight Return) - Jimi Hendrix (1967)

24. Eye Of The Tiger - Survivor (1982)