Newspapers run ads about fake airline Derrie-Air

DEBORAH YAO, AP Business Writer 2 hours, 16 minutes ago

PHILADELPHIA - Derrie-Air has been exposed. Readers of The Philadelphia Inquirer and Philadelphia Daily News opened their papers Friday to see ads for a new airline called Derrie-Air, which purportedly charges passengers by the pound.

But the new carrier will never get off the ground. It's a one-day advertising campaign about a fake airline by Philadelphia Media Holdings, the papers' owner, and Gyro ad agency.

In light blue banners throughout the papers — as well as on their Web site, Philly.com — Derrie-Air cheerily trumpets its policy: The more you weigh, the more you pay. The ads direct readers to the Web site http://www.flyderrie-air.com.

Philadelphia Media Holdings spokesman Jay Devine said the goal is to "demonstrate the power of our brands in generating awareness and generating traffic for our advertisers, and put a smile on people's faces."

The company will track traffic to the Derrie-Air site. Devine said there's already buzz about the campaign on online blogs.

Visitors to the airline site learn that Derrie-Air is the world's only carbon-neutral luxury airline, and it justifies its fare policy by saying that it takes more fuel to move heavier objects. The carrier pledges to plant trees to offset every pound of carbon its planes release into the atmosphere.

Derrie-Air's sample rates range from $1.40 per pound to fly from Philadelphia to Chicago to $2.25 per pound to fly from Philadelphia to Los Angeles.

Those who scroll to the bottom of the home page find out the truth behind Derrie-Air.

A disclaimer labels the ad campaign "fictitious" and says it is designed "to test the results of advertising in our print and online products and to stimulate discussion on a timely environmental topic of interest to all citizens."

Do the Stu

In my opinion, some did not belong on the list - others were too high, others too low.

But that is just one group's opinion - something worth discussing.

AC/DC to sell new album through Wal-Mart

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Rock band AC/DC will sell its new album only through Wal-Mart Stores Inc, the Wall Street Journal reported on its website on Sunday, citing unnamed sources .

Kellogg shrinks boxes of several cereal brands

Price won’t change for five popular types; company blames ingredient costs

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - It's a little less cereal for the same amount of money.

Kellogg Co. is using smaller packaging while charging the same prices for five of its cereals sold in the United States, effectively raising their prices for the second time this year. The company started shipping the new boxes to stores in early June.

Boxes were reduced by an average of 2.4 ounces for 14 items sold under the Apple Jacks, Cocoa Krispies, Corn Pops, Froot Loops and Honey Smacks brands, said Kellogg spokeswoman Susanne Norwitz.

"This price adjustment on select ready-to-eat cereal brands was taken to offset rising commodity costs for ingredients and energy used to manufacture and distribute these products," Norwitz said.

Kellogg increased prices in January in the low single-digit range, on a percentage basis, to offset higher costs, the Battle Creek Enquirer reported Tuesday. Its first-quarter profit still fell 2 percent when compared with the first three months of 2007.

The net result of the smaller boxes is a similar price increase, Norwitz said.

As found in Runners World, from the AP

Police arrest man running on trail in thong

Police arrested a man on Saturday night for running on a Lincoln (Nebraska) bike trail in his thong underwear.

They 26-year-old was charged with indecent exposure.

The article is awfully short, and so raises more questions than it answers. For example:

Was the perpetrator slim, or not so much? Surely that should be a factor when it comes time for sentencing.

Was the thong a basic, solid color, or some exotic animal print?

Was it a Victoria's Secret thong? And if so, was anybody injured and prompted to file a lawsuit?

When cops put this guy in the back of their cruiser, did they lay down a mat or towel or something? Because if not, well, gross.

At any point during his arrest, did the perp admonish officers for not turning the other cheek? If not, he missed a golden opportunity.

REVAN 2008

Yes - over the years I have turned myself into a runner.

From Runners World . . .

Non-Runner Dies While Not Running

A Mississippi man died yesterday while not running in a local marathon.

Les Actiff, 43, of Jackson, Miss., collapsed while watching television in his Hattiesburg home. Attempts to revive him failed, and paramedics pronounced him dead at the scene.

He was still clutching a bucket of fried chicken.

Like 25% of the U.S. population, Actiff was obese. Federal statistics show that nearly a third of U.S. adults 20 years and older are obese; about two-thirds are overweight. Actiff had been a non-runner for more than 20 years, according to his family and friends.

Family members were stunned.

"I don't get it," said his wife, Bess. "He didn't run all his life. He was always so inactive. And now, this. You just never know, I guess."

"At least he died doing what he loved," she added. "Not running."

Spectators gathered outside Actiff's home were similarly shocked.

"I'll never not run," said one woman. "It's too dangerous."

A large man in a scooter, out walking his dog, was more fatalistic: "If you can avoid doing a single positive thing for your health your whole life, just sit around like a lump and eat poorly and then still drop dead... Well, I just don't know. I guess when it's your time, it's your time."

Actiff appears to have died from atherosclerotic heart disease, according to Lamar County Coroner Paul Caste.

AC/DC ARE BACK IN BLACK ICE:

Posted yesterday at: www.undercover.com.au/News-Story.aspx?id=5461

By Paul Cashmere / We will know next week what the title of the new AC/DC album will be but 'Black Ice' looks like a front-runner at the moment. AC/DC have three titles being considered for the album, another one being 'Runaway Train', Albert Music's Danny Keenan confirms for Undercover News.

Keenan says that we should know in the next week what the band would officially decide on. Albert Music CEO Tim Prescott will head to New York for meetings over the AC/DC release next week.

Danny Keenan says he has heard half the album but did not hear a song called 'Black Ice'. If it is being used as a title track then it may have been one of the later tracks recorded for the album. 'Black Ice/Runaway Train/insert third title here' will be the 15th studio album from AC/DC and their first since 'Stiff Upper Lip' in 1998.

AC/DC ARE BACK IN BLACK ICE:

Posted yesterday at: www.undercover.com.au/News-Story.aspx?id=5461

By Paul Cashmere / We will know next week what the title of the new AC/DC album will be but 'Black Ice' looks like a front-runner at the moment. AC/DC have three titles being considered for the album, another one being 'Runaway Train', Albert Music's Danny Keenan confirms for Undercover News.

Keenan says that we should know in the next week what the band would officially decide on. Albert Music CEO Tim Prescott will head to New York for meetings over the AC/DC release next week.

Danny Keenan says he has heard half the album but did not hear a song called 'Black Ice'. If it is being used as a title track then it may have been one of the later tracks recorded for the album. 'Black Ice/Runaway Train/insert third title here' will be the 15th studio album from AC/DC and their first since 'Stiff Upper Lip' in 1998.

achoo

I want to see the Chicago show - but I have a scheduling conflict (already).

You can purchase presale tickets through the Loop now - if you are a Loyal Looper - FYI.

DREAM THEATER LIVE DVD SETS TO BE RELEASED IN SEPTEMBER

New York, NY: Few bands inspire such fanaticism among their fans as Dream Theater. The best way to satiate this dedicated legion is to provide them with even more material to devour and Dream Theater are doing just that this September.

The band will release Chaos In Motion 2007/2008, which documents their "Chaos In Motion" world tour, which kicked off June 3, 2007 at the Monsters of Rock Festival in Milan, Italy and concluded almost a year to the day later on June 4, 2008 in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It's essentially a travelogue of their most recent touring experience and it hits shelves on September 23.

Chaos In Motion 2007/2008 will be available in two configurations: as a double DVD set and as five disc collector's set which includes two DVDs and three CDs, containing 14 live tracks featured in the DVD set and expanded artwork.

The Chaos in Motion Tour was a trek that found the band traversing the globe, playing 115 shows in 105 cities in 35 countries on five continents to hundreds of thousands of fans. It also included the first annual Progressive Nation Tour, an idea that the band had kicked around for a few years and finally launched into action this past spring.

Chaos In Motion 2007/2008 is the latest in a series of DVDs from the band and it features performances captured throughout the entirety of the tour, unlike their last three RIAA-certified Platinum DVDs, Metropolis 2000: Live Scenes From New York, Live at Budokan and Score, all of which focused on as single concert event.

Drummer and DVD creative director Mike Portnoy plumed his personal archives for footage in order to provide fans with the ultimate tour souvenir. He assembled over three hours of complete live performances, taking footage from shows in Rotterdam, Buenos Aires, Toronto, Boston, Bangkok and Vancouver.

The tracks were mixed and effectively brought to life by Kevin Shirley. The second disc is packed with bonus material, including promo videos, live screen projection films, a photo gallery and a 90-minute documentary that'll make you feel like you're riding in the passenger's seat of the band's tour bus, as it takes you on the road and behind the scenes with the band and crew. It's like a virtual backstage pass that grants fans further unprecedented access.

The official content and tracklisting for the DVD are as follows and are subject to change: Double DVD Set Disc One: “Around The World In 180 Minutes” Live Concert Footage: Intro/Also Sprach Zarathustra, Constant Motion, Panic Attack, Blind Faith, Surrounded, The Dark Eternal Night, Keyboard Solo, Lines In The Sand, Scarred, Forsaken, The Ministry Of Lost Souls, Take The Time, In The Presence Of Enemies, Medley: I. Trial Of Tears II. Finally Free III. Learning To Live IV. In The Name Of God V. Octavarium. Disc Two: "Behind The Chaos On The Road” Documentary; Promo Videos: Constant Motion, Forsaken, Forsaken (In Studio), The Dark Eternal Night (In Studio); Live Screen Projection Films: The Dark Eternal Night (N.A.D.S), The Ministry Of Lost Souls, In The Presence Of Enemies Pt. 2; “Mike Portnoy Stage Tour”; “Mike Portnoy Backstage Tour”; Photo Gallery.

Deluxe Collector's Edition 5-Disc Set: Chaos In Motion 2007/2008 Double DVD Set PLUS: * 3 CD's containing the live 14 tracks featured in the DVD set * Expanded artwork and more.

Metallica Boxes Up 'Death Magnetic'

Metallica is offering hardcore fans a "coffin box" edition of its upcoming album, "Death Magnetic," due in September via Warner Bros.

In addition to the album, the package will include a disc of demos, a behind-the-scenes DVD chronicling the making of "Death Magnetic," a T-shirt, a flag, guitar picks and a poster.

Also featured is a Metallica credit card with a code redeemable for a download of a "special European show happening in September." This edition is only available from the band's Web site.

As previously reported, Metallica is offering a variety of insider perks to fans who join its Mission: Metallica club, including "fly on the wall" studio footage, contests, merchandise and downloads.

Live CD/DVD To Chronicle Police Reunion Tour

As expected, the Police plan to release a live CD and DVD from its reunion tour later this year. Drummer Stewart Copeland tells Billboard.com the group filmed and recorded two shows, Dec. 1-2 in Buenos Aires, Argentina, for the projects, which are due out later this year.

"Those rockin' Argentines -- man, are they noisy," Copeland recalls. "It was a pretty exciting show." The DVD will also include a documentary about the tour, titled "Better Than Therapy" and directed by Copeland's son, Jordan, who the drummer calls "a much better filmmaker than me.

"He totally gets right under our skins, the little bastard, and his analysis of the group is better than any I've seen," says Copeland, who turned his home movies into his own film called "Everyone Stares: the Police Inside Out."

He adds that in the documentary, "it's unbelievable to see the early rehearsals compared to where we're at now. Some of them were so raw we had to take them out, some of the scenes. But he's still got the nitty gritty there, with us each grappling with the reality of life in the band again."

Copeland reiterates that there will be no life for the Police after the tour ends on Aug. 7 at a benefit for New York public TV stations at Madison Square Garden. "It was always planned as a very finite thing," Copeland says. "In the back of our minds there was the possible 'Who knows? Maybe if some new material comes up or something like that, you never know...' But the mission has always been finite."

But it's not like the Police didn't roll any tape during their time together. Copeland confirms that he, singer-bassist Sting and guitarist Andy Summers made an unsuccessful attempt at recording a new version of "Truth Hits Everybody" from the trio's 1979 debut album, "Outlandos d'Amour." The song was played at a much slower tempo live during the reunion tour.

"We went into the studio, laid down a backing track and immediately disagreed about where to go with it," Copeland recalls. "And since there wasn't an audience cheering at us ... it just kind of withered on the vine."

Copeland has done some solo projects during the tour, including a five-note melody for Blackberry's new Bold model and a violin piece. He's currently finalizing a commission "with a major orchestra to write a major concerto" after the tour ends. "It's sort of like Sting's lute thing -- so gay, but OK," Copeland says. "Real uncommercial, career suicide moves is probably what you'll be seeing from the three of us over the next year or two before we get back into the business of earning a living from our music."

The Top 20 Albums of All Time (For Real)

check out

History 101

For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals, and

2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.

hybes & Do The Stu

elpp

Aggressive? Are you referring to the liberal / conservative post?

elpp

I understand. When I read it, it was edgy - I agree.

Got to be able to laugh at ourselves once in a while.

cuthbert1776

Ahh - a post from you.

Hope all is going well.

elpp

Storms / humid / heat here today and tomorrow.

Then more normal.

Missed Lolapoloza in Chicago this weekend - my loss.

symphonyofnames

Sorry for the delay in my response - Batman.

I enjoyed the movie overall - but tooooo much violence.

Also - since I am from Chicagoland, and the movie was filmed here, I was distracted many times trying to figure out where the movie was set based on the backdrop.

Do The Stu

For women (or for men who want to know why it takes so long)

PART ONE

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place.

Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch.

It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty.

You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser.

In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday the one that's still in your purse.

(Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time).

That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail .

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.

"Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course.

You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.

For women (or for men who want to know why it takes so long)

PART TWO

Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.

You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted.

You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them.

A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe.

(Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this.

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom.

Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!).

It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long.

It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs.

It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...

Hard to Find

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