eta: I'm OK! I just came from the university exams! Somebody's sleeping, somebody's studing!

It's OK, schools is equal all over the world! I'll be an engeneer of machines and constructions repairment, I'm in 4th stage (I wanted to be an engineer of robotical service or language interpreter, but it's to expensive for me) So I've studied English at school (sorry for mistakes, I have no experiense of talking to Englishman) Ukraine it's South East of Europe it borders with Russia, I think you know where it is :-)

HI Joe In Surfing with the Alien (rhythm section) you play a power chord using 'C: on the A string 3rd fret, and 'B' on the D string 8th fret. What exercises did you do to get that stretch, or do I just have small hands?

hey guys just signed on as a new member, have a question for yas. how do i get my hands on a chromeboy? ever since i first saw one i wanted it. but i have never seen one anywhere. are they in production? can i order one somehow?

please help! i have to have this guitar!

Lord Mefra - Joe usually does a gig in The Netherlands when he tours Europe. You'll probably have the chance to see him this summer.

Anyway... Go to START - PROGRAMS - ACCESSORIES - SYSTEM TOOLS - CHARACTER MAP to find a whole bunch of crazy characters. Click on the ones you like and you'll find the keystroke combinations in the lower left-hand corner of the window.

Since you mentioned Yes...have you seen their Yessymphonic Live In Amsterdam DVD? Wakeman isn't on it, but it still blows Keys To Ascension out of the water.

I'm sure Clarky will have more to add to this...

Ethn - yes I work out quite a bit... 3 times per week and I've been doing it for a year... with great improvements to my body shape, strength, fat loss etc...

I don't do suppements or any of that crap.. just normal good food 5 times per day.. I eat 3 moderately sized meals [fresh viggies, red meat only twice per week, careful with fatty foods, not protien or carbs sentric, just a good balance] with two small snacks in between.. one of the snacks is timed to happen one hour before I hit the gym.. within 30 minutes of training I'll have a cereal bar as this helps the body to refuel just a little and repair..

Monday = Shoulders and Arms

Wednesday = Butt and legs

Friday = Chest, back and abs...

keep a training log so that you can monitor what exercises you are doing and how well you are doing them..
mine is like a table with the headings in each column being Exercise, Sets, Reps, Weight and Notes..

If you want to grow you'll need to adopt the idea that "if you can hit 10 reps the weight is too light... if you can't hit 6 reps the weight is too heavy"

Variety is king... for example.. if you are traing the bicep do not use the same exercise every time.. 1st Monday = alt dumbbell curl, 2nd Monday = concentration curl, 3rd Monday = Preacher curl, 4th Monday = barbell curl.. and so on... the same applies to every muscle group... rotate as many different exercises as you can for each muscle group so that it is a good few week before you repeat yourself...

make sure you do some light to moderate aerobic thing [bike, run etc] for 10 mins to warm up.. then 10-15 mins of stretching all over.. then hit the weights.. repeat your warm-up but for half the duration of each to warm-down..

never substitute form for weight.. train hard, make sure you rest 48 hours before training the same muscle group again.. be careful not 'over-train' and run yourself into the ground..

there are normally plently of experienced guys in the gym in addition to the instructors.. talk to them.. most folks are pretty keen to help folks out..

Some of the finest double entendres from British TV & Radio!

MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

KEN Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions.

CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

A FEMALE news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" (Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!)

PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

METRO Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

HARRY Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.

TED Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.

NEW Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.

PAT Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing

Brian Johnston cricket commentator "The Batsman's Holding the bowler's Willey!!!!!

r6rocker: Yeah man, Burning Organ is kinda commercial, lol, but I love the way Paul play's a little bit of everything on his albums, to include Classical!!.... I have'nt heard a hide or hare from Christian, and I like your idea on the VAC, hehe, although it should be called International Ovation's European Vacation, lmao!!.... btw, Congrats on the new Contract, and give the boss hell to pay!! ;-) btw2: ROTFLMAO at those finest double entendres....

Clarky: Sounds like your gonna have a tough time going from MIDI and the Korg Triton to your AWG, but if knocking out the Roland helps, then by all means, lol.... I dislike going through the manuals, cause it takes me like three times to read it and go, Oh yeah!!.... That's what the F they are talking about!!.. lol man, hope you can figure it out without taking away from the overall mix, and if need be, walk away and go back to it later.... lol, that works for me when I'm overwhelmed and fatigued.... I take a break, go back, and wellah!!....

Tastey: hehe, lol Dr. VAI is hot.... ;-) btw, I think you are healing from that fling you had with the other guy, and as time passes, you'll realize you did the right thing....

mick87: lol man, I got the heavy sake ready, lol, and bar no crazy stuff, the Pat's outta have this one sealed!!!!.... Then Tom Brady will finally get the respect he deserves.... He is the real deal, lol!!.... Compai!! ;-)

Amber78: Hope you find that JS1000 for your husband.... I'm sure it can work miracles.... JOE's music does!!.... Good Luck and all the best from the T2J Realm!! :-)

slanshroom: Hope you get your comp fixed bro, today my Yahoo is not showing the lower 2/3 of the screen!!.... It is F'D!!

Clarky edit: lol man, I read where you can sequence the scenes in by use of faders, panning, fx send 1 and fx send 2.... Sounds like a lifesaver man, and you still have 15 channels left over for the orchestra, lol, everything else can go through the other channel.... I think you need to get the most out of the AW16G, but by all means, DON'T lose what you've put in there so far!!!!.... Good luck man, get the Lab Suit ready bro!!.... btw, my nephew (I told ya he produces and records R&B and Hip Hop bands....) came by and showed me some mixes he made last weekend.... We were up till 4:00am listening and drinkin' the Orion, lol, I gotta learn what he does, cause he know's it like the back of his hand, lol!!.... Making Clarky International someday would be great!!....

Sphere9: lol man, we do live in a weird society no matter what, hehe, lol ;-)

WOW I FEEL LIKE A SLUG...sorry hellion, maybe you're were trying to tell us to quit it cuz you're parents were monitoring? or does it really offend you? sorry.

yeah i saw scatgirl, what a freak!!! scatgirl for G3...not!

ovation: "bleep" for G3 hahahaha, nice one...

scared im not healing from "it" though....eek!

mikesb Am I reading that right? Joe did BV's for Crowded House?? Flippin' 'eck! What a diverse career the man has had- never knew!!