Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged
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A Period
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
''Damned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
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Mon Dec 27 '04 5:44:39 am
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Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged
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A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.
"What in the world is anal glaucoma?"
"I can't see my ass coming into work today."
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Mon Dec 27 '04 6:07:25 am
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Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged
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Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostybite.
What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon Hood.
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
I love Christmas, Eve.
Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
Jungle Bells.
What goes, "Ho, ho, swoosh! Ho, ho, swoosh!"
Santa caught in a revolving door.
What is special about the Christmas alphabet?
It has NO EL.
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Mon Dec 27 '04 7:13:15 am
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Steven Wilde
ShredZone, CaliFunia
USA
Plays: Guitar (21 years)
1068 posts total | IP Logged
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ZINCMASTER- Ha! Ha! Hey, I don't usualy appreicate the Crude Humor, But I gotta' say that one about the Ladie calling Her boss, about not going to work was pretty funny, and not really crude either! Keep those one's like those coming! Ha! Ha!
Steven C.
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Mon Dec 27 '04 8:40:04 am
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Steven Wilde
ShredZone, CaliFunia
USA
Plays: Guitar (21 years)
1068 posts total | IP Logged
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BADAHUH- Hey, Hope You are doing okay! You have a lot of mail! From Me! Tell the folks Hi, and Hope they are all doing fine! God Bless! Hope Your doing okay! Write when You can!....................DCK- Yes, I will! Randell, is alway's saying Hi, To You to! and is wishing You alway's the best! and very much enjoy's as well as I do, Your awesome sound's! He is so busy lately with Something or other, and Carol, That His time really is pretty sparced. But He alway's wishing everyone well! How's Your day going? It's raining a little over here now, It's good! I like the rain, and it dose not rain to often around the east bay. Talk to Ya later....................CivgeeK- Hey, Man, Where are where have Ya' gone? I am was looking forward to seeing You when You came out this here way, did I miss You? are You okay? didi You have a great Christmas? Hope so. You got My number and stuff,! Gee, I hope your still in the Bay area! where are Ya"? Give me a call! Hope the Family is doing fine to! well, See ya' Later........................Jazzzzy- Hi, what's up?
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Mon Dec 27 '04 9:19:43 am
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michelle
8476 posts total | IP Logged
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You can help those affected by this crisis and countless others around the world each year by making a financial gift to the American Red Cross International Response Fund, which will provide immediate relief and long-term support through supplies, technical assistance, and other support to those in need. Call 1-800-HELP NOW or 1-800-257-7575 (Spanish). Contributions to the International Response Fund may be sent to your local American Red Cross chapter or to the American Red Cross International Response Fund, P.O. Box 37243, Washington, DC 20013. Internet users can make a secure online contribution by visiting www.redcross.org.
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Mon Dec 27 '04 9:35:11 am
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MegaBoyd
Boyd
suisun city, california
u s A
Plays: Bass
854 posts total | IP Logged
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Great show last night,
thanks jeff for being so cool, & thanks joe for enduring the sickness & rocking the fillmore out!!
great setlist, really good time
megaboyd,
p.s. for those who are mistaken the setlist was great but joe did NOT play the traveler....
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Mon Dec 27 '04 9:45:59 am
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Pitch no 8
140 posts total | IP Logged
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Clarky
Hi! Hope you had a great Christmas. I have a question : I understand , the soundcard is fairly important if I would be recording with my PC . Can you recommend a decent one that's not too expensive?
Pitch
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Mon Dec 27 '04 10:26:48 am
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bandit194
1 post total | IP Logged
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Joe,
Having been a fan for many years my wife and I were most happy to see you'll be in town (Las Vegas) on Wednesday, Dec 29. We wanted to take our 14 year-old son to hear you (he got the G3 DVD for Christmas), but the House of Blues ad says the show is 21 or over. I called to see why this was, and they said it was your production company that set the limit. So, instead of my son getting to see you perform live, none of us will be attending. MIght want to talk to someone in the know about this. Thanks.
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Mon Dec 27 '04 10:36:51 am
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VanWailin
10 posts total | IP Logged
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Attn: people in charge of this website. I'm am a huge fan of Joe, his playing, his instruments & equipment. But, this website does not do him justice. Nothing has changed on this site in months! The web page has had the same picture since joe released ITLIS. The photos of the band are older, there's nothing new or of interest to have someone visit the website weekly or even monthly! Time to shake things up a little with some new features, photos etc.
Edited Mon Dec 27 '04 10:03 pm
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Mon Dec 27 '04 10:43:08 am
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alexandrecaetano
Alexandre Caetano
Caldas da Rainha, Estremadura
Portugal
Plays: Guitar (32 years)
764 posts total | IP Logged
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Hello friends!!! What a tragedy :-(( !!! So many persons dead!! There`s Portuguese People missed. A Portuguese baby died :-( !!! What a Christmas time :-( !!! That`s so sad, we are really fragile under the rules of Nature. Carpe Diem friends!!!
OPTICALSTUDIO - Thank you for your e-mail, thank you so much :-) !!! You are very kind :-) !!! Happy New Year for you too bro!!!!
TO ALL: Check out my website, the questions are out, the first two persons who answered correctly will win nice prizes :-). Good luck to all. www.alexandrecaetano.com
JOE - Good concerts and enjoy :-) !!!!
I had a nice Christmas, many great gifts :-). Good week friends. Talk to you later!!!! Warm Regards !!!
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Mon Dec 27 '04 10:49:44 am
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JS_JS
Jacob Stewart
Washington
U S
Plays: Guitar (22 years)
1504 posts total | IP Logged
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Powerslave 214 yeah, the second I saw that thing I knew I had to have it, just because Joe used it. then I actually read about the thing and heard it and I knew for sure that i had to have it.
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Mon Dec 27 '04 11:16:01 am
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Virtuososean
sean tanner
statesboro, georgia
united states of america
Plays: Guitar (31 years)
3 posts total | IP Logged
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riddle me this folks, i know steve vai has a fernandes sustainer on his guitar, but does joe have a sustainer on his?, and if so , what type/model is it? I'm thinking on adding a few more improvements to my guitar , and this is one of them, help this shred-head out please!
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Mon Dec 27 '04 11:17:34 am
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the_shreddz
Chris Porrino
Montclair, CA
USA
Plays: Guitar (25 years)
1 post total | IP Logged
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JOE! This was a great christmas! I ended up getting a whole new setup! I just picked up your <b>JS100</b> and love it (even though its not the newest model, it still plays like a champ; just needs to get a lil tune-up). I also got a <b>BOSS GT-3</b> pedal and a <b>Peavey half stack!</b><br>
But that's not all! I got <b>six FREE tickets</b> to see you @ The Grove on the 1st!<br>
I was floored! Can't wait to hear your "musical phenomenon"!<br>
<br>
Late,<br>
Chris Porrino
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Mon Dec 27 '04 11:20:58 am
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Virtuososean
sean tanner
statesboro, georgia
united states of america
Plays: Guitar (31 years)
3 posts total | IP Logged
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oh yeah, i had a brainfart, here's another thing, could the sustainer the steve vai uses be implemented on a les paul?
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Mon Dec 27 '04 11:40:58 am
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slanshroom
roy marchbank
Scotland, Barcelona
Spain
Plays: Guitar (51 years)
3677 posts total | IP Logged
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Clarky:No worrys bro,another option would be t just send the sections y feel y like the best & i,ll do a small reply thing in the space or whatever.Had endless hours of fun with the passing Alt Dom chords in B Bossa myself....."well i like that,no i like that more....but maybe...." yeah i hear y on the havin fun bit,b4 y know it the early hours are passin fast & the wifes at y t get t bed cause y got work in the morn,lol,so no sweat bro,enjoy the rest of the festive & good luck with the album & tour next year,hope its a blinder for y bud.
Stevee T:Yo Steve,well i went t the discography section &....nope my comp is not having it,more virus in its box than a 17th century prostitute mate,i,ll have t pull the finger out & wrap up this last piece so i can scrub the hard drive & get back on track.From the little i,ve heard of your guitar playing & music,i really like,well recorded & mixed 2,will be hearing more.Strange y mentioned about Flymans having a Samba Sting vibe t it,cause around the time i wrote that i was listening a lot t Emily Remler & Stings "dream of the blue turtles" so its more than probable its rubbed off...interesting
VFRrocker:Get back t y in the N.Year bud,enjoy
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Mon Dec 27 '04 11:42:39 am
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Steven Wilde
ShredZone, CaliFunia
USA
Plays: Guitar (21 years)
1068 posts total | IP Logged
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Achoo- Hey Man, I am so sorry to hear about your Ferret, I Love animal's! I know the felling of losing A beloved Pet! I had a lil' dog, and when it went away, It was really tuff! I hope You cheer up soon! Hope the rest of Your holiday's are going fine!.......................ZENFISH- How are ya' feeling? Hope Your much better!......I am bored, can't seem to get into practicing, and My sring's ned to be changed, On every guitar! Ho-Hum.......................ALEXANDRE- Gee, I tried to answer some of those question's! I have to learn and know more fist! I will be checking up, and reserching and knowing more about You! then I will be able to win a prize, after ggetting the right answers! Thank's for contest! I Love to contest's and Competion! That is great to hear that You Like to Bodysurf! That's pretty radical stuff! I used to be A serious Motocrosser(Motorcycles) And actually won a few Trohy's! well take care, and I'll be studying up for the next contest! Bye! have a great day!
Steven C.
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Mon Dec 27 '04 12:00:57 pm
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Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged
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no way
Comedian George Carlin Enters Rehab Program
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Comedian George Carlin, who became a counter-culture hero in the 1970s with routines about drugs and dirty words, said on Monday he was voluntarily entering a drug and alcohol treatment program.
"I'm going into rehab because I use too much wine and Vicodin," Carlin, 67, whose latest book "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" is a current national bestseller, said in a statement. "No one told me I needed this; I recognized the problem and took the step myself."
The announcement came weeks after the veteran stand-up comic caused a stir at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas with a performance that questioned the intellect of people who visit the resort city.
According to media accounts of the incident, Carlin's bit about "moronic" Vegas tourists touched off a bitter, profane exchange with members of the audience, including one woman who shouted "Stop degrading us."
Carlin has acknowledged having battled cocaine addiction in the 1980s but said he quit on his own by tapering off the drug. He also has suffered three heart attacks.
Speaking of his current problem, he said: "My levels of use are nowhere near the worst you hear about these days; I could easily have continued functioning at a good level ... for awhile. But my use would have progressed, I would have been in deeper trouble, and I didn't want to tolerate that."
Carlin's spokesman, Jeff Abraham, said the comedian entered rehab on Monday but did not know how long he would remain in treatment. He said Carlin was currently scheduled to begin a new engagement at Stardust Hotel in Vegas in February.
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Mon Dec 27 '04 12:26:44 pm
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Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged
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The Top 5 Holiday Songs for People Who Hate the Holidays
5> Rest In Peace, Ye Merry Gentlemen
4> O Letter Bomb
3> Rudolph the Fresh-Made Venison
2> Prosty the Ho-Man
and the Number 1 Holiday
Song for People Who Hate the Holidays...
1> Grandma got Hungover on Champagne, Dear
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Mon Dec 27 '04 12:27:32 pm
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