Three guys, a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and George W. Bush are out walking together one day. They came across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.

"I will give each of you one wish. That's three wishes total," said the genie.

The Canadian said, "I'm a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

With a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state."

Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* there was a huge wall around Afghanistan with Bin Laden in it.

George W. Bush, said, "I'm very curious, please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - it's virtually impenetrable."

Michelle: Actually, I wanted to spray WITCH on my moms car when Garage first came out. Yes, Everytime I listen to Am I Evil I raise the devil horns and headbang till I hear my neck crack! Question: Should I buy Motley Crue's Greatest Hits? I have to admit, I love Kickstart my Heart and Girls Girls Girls. It would be a good thing to get first hand advice. If you want to listen to some buckethead, get Colma and Electric Tears. They are the two mellow albums he made. Colma is a straight up dark and dreamy album. Electric tears is also very mellow and the unique thing about it is that its got no percussions. Otherwise, if you want a more funky buckethead, you should try getting Population Override. I would suggest you to download a few songs before you think of making a purchase. He's nothing like Joe!

hi.........................JOE................................

lets get an instrument metal`s music.................

emmmm.....i think i need urguitar tabs from cool#9.....n flying in a blue dream.......................

n also maybe i really need ur photos................

pls...........send it to my email at bejejer@yahoo.com

thanks..................

Hey there Joe and everyone! Only 12 more days and I'll be a MRS.! Whoooo Hooooo! If anyone's interested Click here to go to our wedding biography. (Thanks Austin!!! I did it!)

Zinc Master: That Walmart thing was sooooo funny! I loved #7 and #15 the most!

Narfase: thanks for the encouragement about the song at my wedding! I'm gonna go for it just like your economics teacher! YEA!

Rachael: You are very welcome:)

Do the Stu (Austin)-Thanks for the congrats on my 4 months without smokes! It was difficult this past weekend because we were at a friends house and bar-b-cuing and I really wanted one, but I RESISTED! hahaha! VICTORY!

Optical Studio: I think it was you that was talking about some christian bands....you MUST, must, check out The Violet Burning if you haven;t done so already:) Michael Pritzl is amazing:) lemme know what you think?

thanks for the info on those file extensions ppl. i feel stupid for not working that out myself :P just hope the guy still has the links on his website!!

cuthbert, far from it. The decisions made and actions taken by the Bush administration have a massive effect on the rest of the world. It is the naive assumption of the Bush administration that their decisions and actions only have an effect on the US and on the country the actions are taken against, which is likely to get the UN countries in trouble.

There are no surface-to-surface missiles in the middle-east that have the range to reach all the way to the US, so they shall have to make do with lashing out at America's allies.

The same was the problem in the cold war. Many American CRUISE Missiles were based in England, because they couldn't be launched to their target from American soil, and it made the UK a target.

Nuclear war in Europe would not last long. We are not a big continent, and that is something the US usually isn't aware of - that was an unusual quality of Bill Clinton - he had global awareness, and thought about how his national decisions affected the rest of us.

Zinc Master - nice joke, one thing though - George W. Bush wouldn't be intelligent enough to come up with a solution like that, lol.

Hey all.Havent posted lately, been hard to find a consistent internet source.

The band Graham and I are in had it's first gig, it went really well.Audience flipped out over us.Hopefully many more to come.I guess the band name is gonna be "The Janitors of Chaos" for now, but who knows.

i'm being anti-bush. He's ignorant, dangerous, and disorganised. He couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.

Thoughtful words Simon :)

And thanks a lot for your prompt email reply! I really really appreciate it!

962- I really enjoyed the G3 Denver DVD- have to say I loved Yngwie's performance, but then I do love his baroque style anyway.

Joe was super cool as usual- how does he play like that, especially wearing that big leather? I especially loved watching/hearing him play Starry Night.

I thought the three of them gelled really well during the Hendrix stuff, although Yngwie just couldn't resist those solos! It really came across how much respect all three guys had for each other I thought.

Clarky - That sounds like a great idea. It's a date... ;-) lol

Delfino - I couldn't help 'overhearing', but Travis picking isn't the same thing as chicken picking - chicken picking is a style of flat picking and Travis picking is a cxontrapuntal technique. I don't have time to explain in more detail at the moment, but if you'd like me to then send me an e-mail.

michelle - LMAO I know exactly what you mean!!! I think those babies will look just super with my painted toenails... roflmao

I have always loved Guns N' Roses...come on, who doesnt like songs about sex, drugs, drinking, killing, driving fast, hating cops.....hehe. Seriously though, GnR kick ass. Still, Appetite for Destruction and Lies are two of the GREATEST albums in music history. So naturally, when Ron Tahl joins the band, there is nothing that seems wrong on any level. Maybe he has to deal with unpredicatble Axl, but then he all those fine assed honeys who are waiting to get his motor running....

Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Howard goes to the secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed.

After short lull in their conversation, Howard turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?" ....and he replies "SEX"

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," Howard says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige, "says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Howard's manhood.

Then, one night, Howard didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Howard and make sure he was O.K.

She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethyl, who was holding Howard's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethyl have that I don't have?"