cuthbert1776

HOW TO MAKE A LOT OF MONEY GAMBLING

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?"

The elderly woman replied, "Well, I be t you $25,000 that your testicles are square."

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?"

"Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square."

"Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness."

"No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."

LucySorets....lol....believe it or not...my father was a Senior Project Manager of the design team for the Gulfstream....and will you be providing the fuel to go along with this jet?....lol...

It's About Time (Van Halen)

Prince Charles to Marry Camilla

LONDON (AP) - Prince Charles said Thursday he will marry his divorced lover Camilla Parker Bowles in April, putting an official seal on a long romance that Princess Diana blamed for the breakdown of her tempestuous marriage to the heir to the throne. The announcement ruled out the possibility that she would become queen.

The Prince of Wales and Parker Bowles will marry on Friday, April 8, at Windsor Castle, said Clarence House, Charles' residence and office.

During a visit to London's financial district Thursday, Charles accepted congratulations on his pending nuptials.

"Thank you very much, you're so kind." he said. "I am very excited."

Parker Bowles will use the title Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cornwall after the marriage. When Charles becomes king, she will not be known as Queen Camilla but as the princess consort, Charles' office said.

That decision by the prince appeared to be a nod to public opinion, which has never warmed to Camilla.

Stevee T, really? Well.....I'm afraid I only own a picture, lol

Zinc Master, good joke, lol

bahduh, hi, glad to see you posting again, the long mail coming soon :-) best wishes

Steven Wilde, hi! how are you today? I hope everything is doing well with you, I'm doing better with my stress, I'm learning a thing called "visualization" kind of boring, this was sending me to sleep lol I hope it works. A big cyber-hug and all the best for you

estrela, hola, how are you? About "Lost in Translation", what I like the most of this movie is the attitude of Bill Murray's character of "I've seen it all before" or as we say in Spain, "estar de vuelta de todo" lol there are many different feelings involved in the movie that make it really interesting. I hope your test had doing well, and lots of love and successful things for you too :-)

962, thanks for the "Mourning Widows" info, it have been really useful and entertaining, a long time without knowing about Nuno. I've been searching the cds and yes they are pretty costly, even 56 euros for one, I'll pick up only one for the moment, I've chosen the more refined, "Furnished Souls for Rent". Fortunately I've found it at my usual cybershop for 22,99 euros, I'll tell you when it comes. And I have another question, do you know if Eric Johnson have released a video or DVD of any of his concerts? I know his instructional videos, but nothing about live videos.

death cube k, my heartfelt condolences

MORE NAMM 2005 PHOTOS

Nice shots of the musicians attending NAMM and of Joe and Steve of course :-)

http://www.massenburg.com/cgi-bin/ml/namm2005.html?id=r6 bL9cRD

http://www.socalrocks.com/NAMM2005.asp

The other day I asked if anyone had ever heard of the Dutch/Spanish artist Valensia? No takers.

Player 1

Glad you enjoyed the concert.

Joe does ROCK!

Zinc, is it just me or have you suddenly "Austinized" yourself? The jokes are continuing to flow freely but you are also suddenly downright accomodating to all the newbies here!!! Slow start to the year over in Indy(home of David Lettermans mom AND Andy Timmons place of birth)??

Tommy Lee hopes tour will give him a break

Mötley Cr¨e drummer Tommy Lee is anxious to start the group's upcoming tour just to get some leisure time. In addition to preparing for the trek and recording new tracks for the Red, White & Cr¨e hits collection, Lee has also been finishing a new solo album and has been in post-production for his upcoming NBC-TV reality show Tommy Lee Goes To College. He said his schedule is overloaded at the moment: "I'm in the middle of trying to finish a solo record that coincides in June with my NBC show. So I'm pulling, like, the craziest double-duty shifts you've ever seen. During the day I'm in the studio recording my stuff, then in the evenings rehearsing with Motley, and then back to the studio doing mine, back to the other studio with Mötley in the evenings...I've just been going non-stop."

Sammy Hagar and wife on VH1

AC/DC reissues Back in Black in new format

AC/DC's Back In Black has been reissued this week in a new format. It's now available as a DualDisc, which combines a CD and a DVD onto one disc. The CD side has the original album, while the DVD side has an enhanced stereo mix, and AC/DC discography, and the film The Story Of Back In Black, which features band interviews, archival footage, and in-studio performances of songs including "Hells Bells," "You Shook Me All Night Long," "Rock And Roll Ain't Noise Pollution," and "Shoot to Thrill."

Back In Black is AC/DC's biggest album, having sold more than 20 million copies just in the U.S. since it was released in 1980.

Frontman Brian Johnson said the band's success comes directly from guitarists Malcolm and Angus Young: "Malcolm and Angus really gotta take a lot of credit for the fact that they've just stuck exactly to what the first thought about rock-and-roll...Angus has got a lovely story. When Malcolm asked him to join the band, right at the very start, and Angus asked Malcolm, he said, 'Well, what kind of music are we gonna play?' And Malcolm looked at him, with a quizzical look in his eyes, and he went, 'Rock-and roll!'"

mikesb

I try to be welcoming - I was welcomed by many people when I started posting here, which was very nice.

I can never replace Do The Stu, and do not want to. In the "old days" when someone moved into the neighborhood, they would be welcomed with pies, dinners, offers of help ect.

I am just trying to re-start that here in cyberspace - here at T2J.

Sometimes I have great stories/jokes to share - other days, I am just too busy or there is nothing good to pass on.

Some may believe, even what I do post - I should have considered it not "worthy" - but you cannot please everyone, all the time.

Up here in NWI (northwest indiana), had some snow this morning (less than 1/2 inch) , but it is supposed to get sunny later today !!

mikesb & cuthbert1776

cuthbert1776

From my part of the state, we also "grow" a lot of interesting politicians, who eventually get busted. Some, from your part of the state, consider us the arm pit of the state. We are "da region". We are not on your time, part of the year.

We would like to leave the state, but Chicago will not take us.

Zinc, you are sure that is NOT Jim Davis father of the Ewing clan?? lol

Garfield does kinda strike me as an Indianan

climber: Most audio recorded software (for windows at least) will output audio as a .wav file. This is perfectly acceptable as far as I know for making a glass master.

mikesb

hey you all doing the Indian birthplace people.... You have missed the best and most important one yet, especially culture wise, and without a doubt one of the hottest men to roam this earth... (at least that is my opinion! :)) WHAT ABOUT JAMES DEAN??????

Things are going ok here... lots of schoolwork, little bit of real work, and the weather is gorgeous!

Hope that all is well with everyone in Satchland....

Yo Satchmo's

Date from Hell: Rescue!

CANBERRA (Reuters) - It's every single person's nightmare: You're on a date, it's a disaster but there's no way out.

With Valentine's Day looming, a mobile phone company in Australia has come to the rescue with a service offering an escape from the date from hell.

All you have to do is discreetly dial three numbers and then hang up without saying a word.

"Virgin Mobile will call them back a minute later with a perfect excuse to get them out of there. We'll even talk them through what to say," the company, a joint venture of the Virgin Group and Optus, said in a statement.

A survey of 402 people by Virgin Mobile found that 53 percent arrange in advance to have a friend call them mid-date to check they are all right or if they need an excuse to get out.

Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

LONDON (Reuters) - A British woman was sentenced to two and a half years in jail Thursday for ripping off her ex-lover's testicle with her bare hands during a drunken brawl after he refused her sex.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage in May last year after Geoffrey Jones, 37, who had ended their long-term relationship, rejected her advances.

She grabbed him by the genitals, tearing off his left testicle, then hid it in her mouth before a friend of Jones handed it back to him saying "that's yours."